Exercise and Identity in Motherhood: 5 Powerful Ways Movement Helps You Feel Like You Again

Dear Mum Who Feels Like She’s Lost Herself...

You’re not failing. You’re not lazy. And you’re not the only one who looks in the mirror some days and doesn’t recognise the person staring back. This letter is for you - the mum who’s been trying to juggle it all and wonders when, or if, she’ll ever feel like herself again.

Let’s talk about exercise.

Not as a tool to lose weight. Not as something else to feel guilty about not doing. But as a lifeline. As a way back to you.

What if I told you that movement can be the most powerful act of identity you ever take? That it could give you confidence, calm, clarity, energy - and a sense of control again?

I want to show you five ways movement has helped me and other mums I support reclaim who we are. This isn’t a to-do list. This is a love letter to your future self.

1. Self‑Efficacy: Remembering What You're Capable Of

A year after my second C‑section, I stood at the starting line of the London Marathon. The heat was scorching. My knee was giving me grief (because, let’s be honest, postpartum bodies come with some surprises). But I wasn’t there to break records. I was there to prove something. Not to anyone else, but to me.

This had been a dream of mine for years. And in my 40th year, I decided it was now or never. I followed a training plan that worked with my mum-life. I asked for help, outsourced where I could (hello, extra childcare), and protected that time like it was sacred. And I didn’t train for a time. I trained for joy.

I’ll never forget crossing that finish line. Or the look on my daughter’s face as she wore my medal the next day and told her teachers that she wants to run a marathon too.

My first run back? Ten minutes. Half of it walking. I remember thinking, “How will I ever do 26.2 miles?”

But I had a vision. I set manageable goals. I made it happen. And with every step, I felt more like me again.

And guess what happened next? I believed in myself. Fully, unequivocally. If I could run a marathon, what else could I achieve? Suddenly, nothing felt as difficult or unachievable. In all areas of life.

💡 Easy Tip: Set one goal this week that’s just for you. A 10-minute walk. A 15-minute YouTube workout. Not for calories. For confidence. And see what else it leads you to.

2. Mental Clarity: Calming the Chaos in Your Head

One of the women I support - a brilliant, busy mum of five with a partner on shifts - used to describe her brain as foggy soup. She’d start things and never finish them. She felt overwhelmed, distracted, and depleted. ADHD tendencies? Maybe. But mostly? Mental load overload.

We didn’t start with big workouts. Just a commitment: move three times a week, however it fits.

Fast forward three weeks? She’s thinking clearly, sleeping better, making empowered decisions, and saying things like, “I just wish I’d done this sooner. It’s too important not to.”

Here’s why: exercise boosts dopamine and BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor) - two key chemicals that help with focus, mood, and cognitive clarity. It’s why schools are adopting “The Daily Mile” or giving movement breaks between lessons. It’s not just about burning energy - it’s about building brains.

💡 Easy Tip: Feel scatterbrained? Take 10 minutes and walk without your phone. You might come back with an answer you didn’t know you had.

3. Productivity: Movement Fuels Your Mission

Let me be honest: I’ve had days where I’ve sat on the sofa, too tired to think, kids climbing all over me, wondering how I’ll ever run a business or finish the to-do list.

Then I move. A short run, a walk, a stretch. Something shifts.

That’s how I’ve found the clarity to run my travel business - to lead team trainings, plan retreats, support other mums, and grow a movement around movement. I’ve trimmed the fat, cut the fluff, and I do it again every time I lace up.

It’s not just me. A major study found that working mums who meet basic movement guidelines report higher productivity and quality of life. That’s why schools schedule physical activity - it sharpens minds and energises learning. The same applies to us.

💡 Easy Tip: Feeling sluggish? Try a 5-minute energy burst (star jumps, walking lunges, dance break). THEN tackle your to-do list.

4. Reduced Stress: Regulating the Rollercoaster

Dinner time used to be my daily meltdown moment. One child tugging on my leg, the other claiming imminent starvation, food burning, me snapping. So I did an experiment: tracked my stress score (1–10) every day for two weeks during that dreaded hour.

I also noted: had I moved that day? Had the kids had outside time? Had we been active as a family?

Here’s what I found: On the days I exercised, my average stress score dropped from 9 to 4.

Science backs this up: movement lowers cortisol and boosts serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. It’s literal chemistry for a calmer you.

💡 Easy Tip: Identify your stress hour. Then schedule movement before it - even if it’s a kitchen dance party or 10 squats.

5. Capacity and Resilience: Combating DMS (Depleted Mother Syndrome)

If you haven’t heard of DMS, it’s that feeling of being drained to your core: mentally, emotionally, physically. It’s real. And it affects so many of us.

According to research, DMS isn’t just exhaustion. It’s the slow erosion of identity, joy, and capacity from years of over-functioning and under-caring for ourselves.

Exercise helps because it replenishes. It grounds you back in your body. It gives you something that’s yours. And it gently tells your nervous system, “You’re safe. You’re strong. You’re still here.”

I’ve seen it in my own life. On the days I move, I mother better. I think clearer. I laugh more. I bounce back quicker.

💡 Easy Tip: Plan two non-negotiable “you” movement moments this week. They’re not optional. They’re essential.

Final Thoughts: This Isn’t About Losing Weight. It’s About Finding You

You don’t need to earn your rest. Or your joy. Or your sense of self. You already deserve all of it.

Movement isn’t another box to tick. It’s a way home.

And if you want support - real, mum-life, guilt-free, flexible support - I’ve got you. Follow me @itsemmapickford to be part of a community that gets it. Where small steps matter. Where identity is rebuilt, not lost. And where movement is a reminder that you still matter.

See you there you lovely lot. 💛